Wait on the Lord, renew your strength

Monday, June 26, 2006

Psalm 6
To the choirmaster: with stringed instruments; according to The Sheminith. A Psalm of David.
1 O LORD, rebuke me not in your anger, nor discipline me in your wrath.
2 Be gracious to me, O LORD, for I am languishing; heal me, O LORD, for my bones are troubled.
3 My soul also is greatly troubled. But you, O LORD--how long?
4 Turn, O LORD, deliver my life; save me for the sake of your steadfast love.
5 For in death there is no remembrance of you; in Sheol who will give you praise?
6 I am weary with my moaning; every night I flood my bed with tears; I drench my couch with my weeping.
7 My eye wastes away because of grief; it grows weak because of all my foes.
8 Depart from me, all you workers of evil, for the LORD has heard the sound of my weeping.
9 The LORD has heard my plea; the LORD accepts my prayer.
10 All my enemies shall be ashamed and greatly troubled; they shall turn back and be put to shame in a moment.

This morning, I felt most tired and weary; like there is nothing much to look forward to. I think it is due to:
1. My hormones acting up
2. Nothing much of a challenge is happening at work lately
3. I am plain tired; I did not get enough rest

It is during times like these that I always desire a change in my life, and the only thing I keep thinking of is to change my line of work. It would be a drastic change, which is why I am still waiting on God. When I was in my early teens, there was this altar call for those who desire to serve God full time and in my emotionally charged days then, I responded. I have a friend who at one time several years ago, kept reminding me of that vow insisting that whatever vows I made to God, it cannot be revoked. I was quite turned off by her. I know the Scripture verses she was refering to but I am not entirely convinced of that vow being non-revocable, one made when I was still raw and fresh.

Having said that however, I do have a desire to serve him full time but I am certain that when I do that, it is not because of a non-revocable vow I have to fulfill but a wholesome desire to want to do so; out of love more than out of duty.

I have been waiting on God for many years. I have tried several times to just do what I thought is the right thing but it did not work out. So since then, I decided not to force it but to take the opportunity to grow first in His Word while growing in relationship with him, however long it will take; 2 years, 10 years, 20 years. There is still so much to learn and so much to do. And I trust that he will in his perfect timing lead me to what I should do and where I should be.

Just that, sometimes the waiting gets wearisome. O that I will continue to be patient, to wait on the Lord and trust him. I am nevertheless encouraged, through a window of hope which he showed me several days ago. I trust that my God is omnipotent. Nothing is impossible for him.

Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.
~ Isa 40:30-31

Picture by Robin Parker

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6 comment(s)

  1. You and me both, Maeghan. I have no words for you, but I'm in the same boat.

    Fortunately, work just quit being boring for a while. :-)

  2. I think you can serve God full time in whatever you are doing, so I hope that comment from your friend doesn't make you feel guilty. It reminds me of this pastor I met in the bookstore who referred to herself as a "Paid Christian".
    It's great how you made it a priority to grow in your relationship to God and learning about His Word because then He can use you to fulfill His purposes. But I know what you mean about "waiting" and I'm praying that you will find the right type of life for your soul! Blessings.

  3. Codepoke,
    Good to at least know someone is in the boat with me :o)
    The irony is when work is interesting, I don't think it so much. So maybe it is a reminder to me.

  4. Hi Julia,
    Yes, I did feel guilty at first but I know I did try but didn't work out. And I am pretty sure now is preparation time, and I am having a good time at it as well :)
    Moreover, I am looking forward to the Acts module this coming Sept!