Thursday, April 02, 2015

Waste and rubbish, meanness and forgiveness

I was once referred to by someone as his favorite waste of time. I remember feeling ambivalent about it but not very happy at the same time. That was a long time ago. I don't know why I suddenly remembered it.

But this I remember very well. Recently someone indirectly said that the work I did was rubbish. I was quite angry.

Sigh...I don't understand why people say the things they say that aren't very nice.

Maybe this is good advise--How to Deal with Mean People:

1. Control Your Response - which I did. I could feel the surge of anger coming but I kept telling myself to step back and create the space to cool down.

2. Response to Meanness with Compassion - I think I did this too. I did not react but continued on the relationship ordinarily as if nothing happened. I'm working towards forgiveness.

3. Take Care of Your Own Pain First - this I feel is important. I'm a person who forgets easily whatever that is said or done against me except when I feel it's big. And so I acknowledged the pain but when I felt it again, I laughed it away. And right now as always, writing as a therapy helps. I think and write the pain away.

4. See Mean People for What They Really Are - and feel compassion for them. Not easy but necessary.

5. Fight Fire with Water - I pray for them. I pray that God will surrounded them with his holy presence.

The key to all this is forgiveness. As Paul wrote to the Ephesians in chapter 4, verse 30-31:

Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

It's time I concentrate on this lesson this Holy Week. Jesus has died for my sins and with his death in the cross, God has forgiven me. Who am I not to forgive others for what they have done against me?


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