Oh! To read. To think. To write.
I was reading M. Bakri Musa's Malaysia's Wasted Decade 2004-2014 when he quoted this from Ananta Pramoedya, a renowned Indonesian writer, which I thought was brilliant. Pramoedya wrote it in his book Rumah Kaca or The Glasshouse.
"Orang boleh pandai setinggi langit, tapi selama ia tidak menulis, ia akan hilang di dalam masyarakat dan dari sejarah." (Your intellect may soar to the sky but if you do not write, you will be lost from society and to history.)
I am a person who would be happy just reading and thinking and learning. But I did think what use is that going to be? Some of the stuff I read and think is for work, and so that is good. But for most of the things I read and think, I do not really have an outlet to where it can be useful.
I used to teach but I don't get that opportunity very often. And I have yet to find my next teaching gig.
So when I read that quotation, I felt that it meant a lot to me. At least I am writing, albeit in a small little blog that not many people read. But that is still something.
When I write, I get to expand my thoughts when I write. I get to think further what I read and give the information some life as I apply it to thought and apply it to life. I get to hope that those who read it will find reason and judgement and knowledge. I get to hope that they will continue and spread the same line of thinking and branch out to even more learning and knowing and life experience, and ultimate meaning in life.
I do dream of being a writer and writing a book. But that seem so faraway. Some day, maybe.