Wednesday, March 07, 2018

Am I going through the five stages of grief?

It’s almost two months since my son has left for college. I’m managing it quite well though people I meet will almost always bring up the subject of me being in an empty nest and will start asking about him. 

With that, I find it a bit tough to move on. 

And today I think I am feeling a bit depressed about it and wonder if I’m experience any of the stages of the Kübler-Ross Model. 

Most people know the Kübler-Ross Model as the Five Stages of Grief and it was introduced by the author in her 1969 book On Death and Dying.

I am obviously not experiencing a death in this case but I think there is still some kind of grief I’m going through. 

The five stages are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. They are not linear and they do not have a predictable progression. The different stages can come at any time in any sequence. 

I think I’m in the denial and depression stage. It’s not serious but I feel it. 



  1. The source of grief is loss. Pretty normal to experience grief when a child leaves for college as it is a loss. My suggestion is to find a way to express your grief. A counselor once told me that to grieve was to step into my pain and finding a way to release it. Prayers that you find the wisdom to grieve well.

    1. Find a way to express my grief...I am not sure yet how.

    2. So hard to know how Pearlie. For me, feelings of grief are sometimes connected to my desire to be in control. I experience loss when I am not in control and unable to be in control. At those times I find myself offering a prayer of release asking God to help me to patiently trust him.

      Thinking about kids leaving for college reminds me of this a quote.

      When mothers talk about the depression of the empty nest, they're not mourning the passing of all those wet towels on the floor, or the music that numbs your teeth, or even the bottle of capless shampoo dribbling down the shower drain. They're upset because they've gone from supervisor of a child's life to a spectator. -Erma Bombeck

      Blessings to you dear friend.