Monday, June 03, 2019

No choice but to ride the storm out

No one has made me angry and no one has betrayed me for quite awhile now.

Until very recently.

I made the effort to spend some time with that someone but what I got was blame and judgment and very unkind words.

I got quite mad but I was in no position to even defend myself.

So I just kept quiet willing the minutes to go faster till I can extricate myself from the situation.

A few days have passed now but I find that I still get affected by it. The emotion is still quite raw.

But I have already come to an acceptance that my emotions will come no matter what I do. I can't avoid them. So as always, I will ride them out till they subside.

But it's taking much longer to do that this time.

And it's also a decision I make. When I begin to get affected by it, I stop myself and decide not to be. I decide to stop dwelling in it. I decide to forgive.

Though it's not easy. Not at all.


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