Monday, June 03, 2019
No choice but to ride the storm out
No one has made me angry and no one has betrayed me for quite awhile now.
Until very recently.
I made the effort to spend some time with that someone but what I got was blame and judgment and very unkind words.
I got quite mad but I was in no position to even defend myself.
So I just kept quiet willing the minutes to go faster till I can extricate myself from the situation.
A few days have passed now but I find that I still get affected by it. The emotion is still quite raw.
But I have already come to an acceptance that my emotions will come no matter what I do. I can't avoid them. So as always, I will ride them out till they subside.
But it's taking much longer to do that this time.
And it's also a decision I make. When I begin to get affected by it, I stop myself and decide not to be. I decide to stop dwelling in it. I decide to forgive.
Though it's not easy. Not at all.